Girl Friday

Local Injustices

Injustice #1: Taylor's right: this is some bullshit.  Some guys are trying to get Gary the Kickball Umpire removed from the city's Parks & Recreation League.  For those that have played or just watched, you know that Gary's humor and theatrics--Gary can be seen juggling fire in a photo on our team's Myspace, and is also umping the game in our MNStories video--make the games as fun as they are.  He's a friend and a damn good umpire.  Taylor edited the letter, which is very, very long, but I've uploaded the whole thing.  If you're a kickballer, you should read it.  Then you should complain about this ridiculousness.

Download gary_the_umpire.doc

Injustice #2: The fictional erotica blog Mpls Eros is gone after being up for just two days (here's the Google cache in case you blinked and missed it).  There's speculation that the blog is just down temporarily because it's switching to Wordpress, but I tend to think differently; now the email address and Twitter account associated with Mpls Eros have both been deleted.  The pseudonymed author wished to remain anonymous; perhaps they were made by a stalker after the blog got some attention on MNSpeak.  Similar things have happened to other female bloggers, including me when my home address was posted anonymously in an old thread.

Injustice #3: Why is there no MyOpenBar.com (Your Guide to Free Booze) for the Twin Cities?  Please, someone, start one up here.  Find the time, because you'll have no problem finding the sponsors.
 

Vanessa Ferlito Hair?

Someone posted  the below video clip of Vanessa Ferlito in the comments on Diablo Cody's "Cinema Masturbatio" blog entry yesterday.  The theme was, of course, what steamy film scenes (non-porno) get you going.

Some people might watch the clip and simply say, "hey I saw that movie."  Others might say, "why is that hot young chick doing a lap dance for older-than-God Kurt Russel?"  And most would probably say, "GOD-DAMN!  I want me some of that!"

But I said, "wow, her hair is awesome.  I wonder if Sarah can do that with mine."

So I forwarded the clip to Hair Wizard and Genius Sarah Buckley, Proprietor of Sassy Lu Salon.  She said yes, my hair would easily do that.  (The little minx also asked for a lap dance, and I'm thinking about it.) 

But now I'm wondering if I want to do that.  My hair is long, thick, and black, with scant bangs and minimal layering for textural purposes.  The Vanessa Ferlito hairstyle would retain the length, but at the same time create assloads of layers and my hair wouldn't be as thick.  Also, how does this hairstyle work when employing ponytails?  Or updos, for that matter?  I have a very intentional low-maintenance cut right now.  Will Vanessa Ferlito hair be more work?  Can I get some opinions up in here?

May Your Personal Hell Be Filled With Superintelligent Angry Ducks

Alleged Duck Killer Charged With Felony:

"Scott D. Clark, 26, of Denver, walked into the atrium area of the Embassy Suites Hotel in downtown St. Paul early Saturday morning, approached one of the tame ducks in the duck pond, cornered it against a brick wall and tore its head off..."

Yo Quiero Immersion Blender

The more time I spend at home--which, I'm not gonna lie to you, is a whole lot lately--the more I realize something I'd completely forgotten about: I really love to cook, and I'm actually pretty good at it.

So I've been doing an awful lot of it lately.  My crowning achievement of the month has to be the green enchilada sauce from last week, inspired by the 12 tomatillos someone left at my house after a recent BBQ.  Veggie stock, three fresh jalapenos, a palmful of cilantro (yes, I'm training my palate to tolerate cilantro), some garlic, cumin, chili powder, and salt and pepper simmered over low heat then tossed in the blender creates a most amazing sauce.  I screwed it up the next day, though, when I actually assembled the enchiladas.  Thinking I could lower the fat content by skipping the step where you dip the fresh corn tortillas in warm corn oil before you fill them, I neglected to realize that this step is included for a very important reason: it keeps the damn tortillas from disintegrating.  I further exacerbated the problem by dredging the tortillas in warm enchilada sauce to soften them prior to filling.  Oops.  What resulted was something best described as one giant tamale; though, as my very kind volunteer food tester assured me, all the right flavors were still there and it was delicious nonetheless.

Lesson learned for next time.

The other lesson learned is about the preparation of Mexican cuisine in general: it's really very messy.  A few weeks ago I made a vegetarian menudo soup (somewhere just now, Andrew Zimmern felt a mysterious pain in his heart) with tlacoyos, and my kitchen was an ancho-chilied, grease-spattered disaster by the time I was done.  I've yet to figure out a way around this.

However, my other big problem in the kitchen can be easily remedied with a good immersion blender, which I currently do not have.  See, there's a considerable amount of effort involved (not to mention dishes dirtied) in transferring batches of liquids in and out of my blender.  Most recently with the aforementioned enchilada sauce, as well as the cheddar tortilla soup earlier this month, and then last night's roasted butternut squash bisque with sage-walnut pesto.

Anyway, I found this immersion blender on Amazon today and added it to my Wish List.  I was also looking for a lid for my Oster blender, since the old one was killed, I believe, in a dishwasher accident.  Curiously, for my blender, you can only buy the lid without the center cap.  Even on the replacement parts website, they just have the one piece without the other.  How weird is that?  So I just added the jar/lid/cap combo to my Wish List because I know it will come in handy to have an extra blender jar anyway.  Daiquiris, margaritas, et cetera.

Incidentally, my birthday is in less than a month.

Who Doesn't?

Mark this on the calendar for Sunday: a book chat with Dorian Solot and Marshall Miller, the authors of I Heart Female Orgasm: An Extraordinary Orgasm Guide. 

If you click on that last link, you'll see that the book has yet to receive less than a 5-star rating from any of its reviewers on Amazon.com.  My disclaimer is that I haven't actually read the book yet, but it is second to next on my list.  Maybe I can get through it in time for the book discussion.

Smitten Kitten, Sunday 6:00-7:30pm.  Please RSVP 612-721-6088.

*****

When I mentioned that my living room was going to be made over by HGTV's Decorating Cents in December, did you turn green with envy?  Well buck up, buttercup!  They're looking for more Twin Cities rooms to redesign for the upcoming season, so click on this link if you want a fancy new space, too.  Apartments are fine, as long as you can paint the walls.

You Mom's a Sex Toy Magnet

Found tonight while doing research for my column:

Little sex toy magnets.  Aren't they cute? 

Get them at GoodVibes.com, just $4.49 for the set.

Fancy New Living Room

Holy mole, I turn 30 next month.  My big sister is probably having an existential crisis over the upcoming milestone.  I, on the other hand, am welcoming this new era with open arms.  I've had the best year I can remember and I can't wait to see what happens next.

Oh!  And last week I found out that this, my year of wonderfulness, will be punctuated at the end with a brand new living room from HGTV's Decorating Cents!  Chandrew mentioned back in May that they were looking for homeowners or renters with a room to transform, so I emailed them.  A few months later, they came to my apartment, decided my living room was perfect for the show, and the rest will be history around, tentatively, the third week of December.

I'd love to tell you to expect exclusive, behind the scenes updates during the room transformation, however it's been made very clear that I'll have to either be out Christmas shopping or working somewhere other than my home office while they're here.

What to do, what to do?

Regular readers of Girl Friday may have noticed that I've got a bit of a blog stalker problem on my hands.  This individual--let's call him "Z"--started in June with some anonymous commentary.  Nothing too antagonistic then, but the obnoxiousness and sarcastic tone of Z's comments have since severely escalated. 

Of course, I've just been ignoring his comments because if you don't pay attention to people like that, they eventually go away.  But after a few months, he hasn't gone away.  And I'm thinking Z is just going to keep at it because he posts using various pseudonyms, and how the heck could I possibly discover his real identity anyway?  Except that, in an odd six-degrees twist, it turns out Z and I have one really good friend in common (Ben) and Z confessed to Ben that he'd been commenting on my blog.  Also, I track IP addresses from all my commenters, and Z left his name and email address on one early comment, so I've been watching all activity from his address-- not that it's hard to figure out which comments are his.  (I'm actually watching two IP addresses; the other is possibly Z, maybe posting from home at night.  This second person also uses multiple pseudonyms and has posted three times so far this evening with three different names.)

General concerns:

- His comments have troubled my parents.  My mom called me not too long ago to ask if I knew the person leaving nasty notes on my blog because she was worried. 

- I mentioned to Ben my mom's concern, and asked him to in turn communicate that to Z.  Ben relayed the message, and also asked Z for a personal favor: to please stop bothering me.  Friend to friend, Ben said, just leave her alone.

- Leaving sarcastic comments on my blog is apparently more important to Z than his years-long friendship with Ben because he hasn't stopped posting them.  Ben was upset by this, which caused me to become pissed off because Ben is my friend.

- His comments have troubled a few of my other friends, who have called or emailed to ask if I knew the person leaving them because they wanted to kick that person's ass.

- I did tell one friend who Z was and that friend sent him an email about two months ago, with some pretty strong language suggesting that he leave me alone.  That got no response.

- Z's sarcastic comment on my blog entry about Thom Pham getting attacked was the first and only comment of his that bothered me.  You have a problem with my writing style?  Fine.  You don't like my restaurant reviews?  I really don't care.  But a close friend of mine gets beaten nearly to death and you can't put your attitude on pause for one goddamn day?

Other important things to know:

- I have never met Z; we're complete strangers.  It's totally random that we have a friend in common.

- He's gay, so he's probably not going to crawl through my bedroom window at night and try anything.

- I looked up his criminal history and some other background info to see if there's anything I need to worry about.  I'm looking over everything now, and he appears to be harmless.

Family, friends, beloved readers of my blog: what do you think I should do about Z?  I made this handy little poll for you to vote on.  I figure I'll leave it up through Monday or Tuesday and make a decision based on the results.

more at twiigs.com...

Product Comparison: Self-tanners

I was at Walmart a few weeks ago--they happen to have the best prices on small appliances and I happened to be in the market for a toaster oven, which I now no longer am because I bought a lovely 6-slice Hamilton Beach model there for $28.00--and I noticed two new gradual self-tanning moisturizers in the sun care aisle that looked promising.  So, of course, I bought them.

Both contain "skin-firming" ingredients, but that wasn't a factor in my purchase.  From everything I've read, that stuff doesn't work 24 hours after you stop slathering it on your skin, anyway.  Here's my product review and comparison:

St. Ives Healthy Brilliance Firm & Glow, 8 oz.

• Scent: Light floral, standard St. Ives

• Emollience: Good, but wouldn't stand up to once-daily use in the winter

• Color: Pretty sheer the first few days, then turns into a nice self-tanner tan (line-free and fairly believable)

• Other pros: Not tested on animals, no baked goods smell

• Other cons: The bottle pump design needs some rework; hard to handle with slick fingers and dispenses very small dollops

Malibu Tan Golden Glow Hemp Skin-firming Bronzer Moisturizer, 12 oz.

• Scent: Strongly fruity, reminiscent of various car air fresheners

• Emollience: Fair; could be better, but the hemp oil does add a nice softness

• Color: Nice and quick, yet gradual and line-free

• Other pros: Not tested on animals, minimal baked goods smell

• Other cons: I think you can only get this at Walmart; also, seriously, I smell like I just fell out of the Stratus, gagging and gasping for air after leaving Mister Carwash where my car was maliciously desecrated with triple sprays of each cherry, coconut, jasmine, and new car

Both products were right around $5.00, but you get four more ounces with the Malibu Tan option.  Despite how much I love the fragrance of the St. Ives lotion, the product packaging is so awkward that I'd hesitate to buy it again.  But the smell of the less expensive Malibu Tan lotion has officially started to kind of gross me out, so I'm not sure I'd buy it again either.

"Now your father, he got game."

- Meow-meow!  MILF Maggie Gyllenhaal is the new spokesmodel for Agent Provocateur lingerie.

- Training for Better Sex: A 3-minute video on what muscle groups to work for improved sexual stamina and overall enjoyment.  Though I tend to agree with the VideoSift commenter who says "if you want to train your body for sex then have more sex."

- I started a tag discussion on vita.mn about game.  What exactly is game?  Do you have it?  Who's got the best game?  While Matt and I agreed over dinner at Crema Cafe on Tuesday that we both indeed have game, we were able to name at least one individual who has more game than both of us combined.  (Name withheld to protect the semi-innocent, but bribery's a safe bet if you really want to know.)

- Thank you Rick Nelson for naming the ingredient I couldn't quite place in Brasa's deliciously addictive slow cooked collard greens: crème fraîche!  Brasa has also updated their menu to specify which items are made with meat or meat stock.

- I have two current food addictions right now that I'd like to share with you:

Whole Foods' 365 brand ginger snaps are a delicious, all-natural treat with crack-like addictive qualities.  They come in a handy zip closure bag which I am capable of emptying in 24 hours.

Rajas tamales from La Loma Cafeteria in the Mercado Central have become an official staple of my diet.  72 hours without one of these spicy, cheesy, irresistible little things and I'm prone to throwing things around my apartment.  Luckily I'm eating one right now, so the cat is safe through the weekend.