Girl Friday

Bumper Sticker Theft

Well, some jerkoff's finally done it.

Someone stole my Bill Clinton/blowjobs bumper sticker.  I handled it with grace when someone defaced it.  I even laughed it off when someone left an angry note about it on my windshield at the bank.  But to mess with another American's First Amendment rights by stealing?  Not cool.

Seriously, who does that?  This happened over a week ago and I'm finally cooled off enough to mention it, but I was really peeved.  Handsome reward for any information leading to the ass-kicking of the larcenist.

I was thinking I'd just order another one, but the guy that made them doesn't appear to be offering them any longer.  Plan B was to get a Big Lebowski bumper sticker, so I guess that's where I'm at now.  But which one?

I'm really partial to "I know my rights, man," but "a natural zesty enterprise" and "you're not blowing" are also calling my name.

Friday Five: What People I Know Are Up To Edition

1. Amber is making a prediction about who dies in the Sex and the City movie.

2. Reetsyburger is letting go of polka dots and redesigning her blog.

3. Christian is realizing why it's sometimes a bad idea to buy drinks for strangers in Northeast bars.

4. Leif is discovering Mexican Coke for the first time, starting a love affair he quite possibly won't be able to stop.

5. Cherish is moving to Chicago, where the cost of living is going to seriously cramp her shopping style.

I have to confess that I've never actually met Cherish in real life, but we've been reading each other's blogs for a long time.  In the spirit of not really knowing someone but still wanting to share useful information about something, here's a bonus link:

6. LJ Twin Cities is on a quest for latte art, and wondering what the tipping etiquette is for this fancy extra.

Keep or Return: Peep Toe T-strap Sandals

Found at DSW for $39.95:

I think I already know what you're going to say, so know that I bought them on a whim on one of those "I hate all my shoes!" days.  There are few outfits I couldn't wear them with, but the question is: do I really need them?

Shouldn't Every Day Be "Don't Eat Animals Day?"

Happy Earth Day.  Remember that the single most important thing you can do to save the planet is to eliminate or significantly reduce your meat consumption (yes, birds and fish included).

Food for thought:

- A 2006 United Nations report found that the meat industry produces more greenhouse gases than all the SUVs, cars, trucks, planes, and ships in the world combined.

- Only 10% of the oceans' big fish population remains, the other 90% wiped out mostly by industrial fishing.

- Because it takes up to 16 pounds of grain to produce 1 pound of animal flesh, using 1 acre of land to raise cattle for slaughter yields only 20 pounds of edible protein. If soybeans were grown instead, that 1 acre would yield 356 pounds of edible protein.

Now that green is officially the new black, I'm hopeful more people will discover how serious an impact the meat industry is making on our environment. Pathetically, world hunger still plagues our planet--people are starving to death in Haiti, just 600 miles off the coast of Florida--but if mankind simply ceased slaughtering animals for food, world hunger could cease to exist.

Panna Cotta (As In, The Best In Minneapolis)

Kickin' it with JDR and the G-ride.

This photo was taken at the vita.mn-sponsored Voltage pre-party Tuesday night at Nick & Eddie (wow, that was kind of a mouthful).

I wanted to thank manager Doug Anderson on my way out the door, but the man who had been bustling behind the bar almost all night was nowhere to be seen when it was time for me to go.  See, none of the passed hors d'oeuvres were vegetarian, so Doug very kindly had a couple sent out for me from the kitchen.  That's customer service, people!

He also very surreptitiously handed me a panna cotta, but my friends spotted it so then I had to share.  It was, hands down, the best panna cotta I've ever had.  Not gelatinous at all; only creamy and beautiful.  There was a fantastic strawberry sauce on top that was so lively it just had to be a puree and not a reduction, and a chocolate meringue cookie on the side that melted in your mouth with heavenly citrus and dark chocolate taste.  It was like all the elements of a fresh strawberry shortcake were reassembled into a different, more better dessert.

If God or the devil made a panna cotta, it couldn't possibly taste any better than this one.

Censored

Tune into FM 107.1 around 2:15 today (as in Friday) and you'll catch me on the radio with Stephanie Hansen.  We've got some serious matters to discuss, like why the hell some men still think the Shocker is a pleasurable thing for a woman and whether or not I'm freaked out about interviewing Chuck Palahniuk next month.

We may even touch on the subject of my original column getting canned this week and replaced at the last minute due to my apparent over-descriptiveness on how to give proper head to the man in your life.  I'm bitter, very bitter, about it right now, but my editor has my back on this one (as usual) and hopefully the informative column will see the light of day soon.

It's especially puzzling because the piece wasn't any more descriptive than my cunnilingus or anal sex tutorials.  I've actually written about giving girl head more than once, but I guess someone had a problem with penises.  I rather like them myself.

No More Rollin' With An Entourage

When you wake up with Big Punisher in your head, it's bound to be a good day.

More blogging to come tomorrow.  I've been a busy little beaver this week with vita.mn-y stuff and some other stuff.

What Would You Ask Chuck Palahniuk?

What: Chuck Palahniuk promoting his forthcoming novel, Snuff
When: May 21st, 7:00pm
Where: Triple Rock, 18+
Cost: $30.00, and you leave with a signed copy of Snuff
Why should you go? Because it's Chuck-freakin'-Palahniuk!

Why else should you go?  Because the event, brought to you by Magers & Quinn, will be hosted by Yours Truly.  I am out of my mind with excitement about this!  The nice folks at Magers & Quinn (a fellow named Jay, in fact) emailed me a few weeks ago, asking if I'd be interested in hosting Mr. Palahniuk's appearance.  I don't think I took a single breath while replying to the message with an emphatic "YES!"

The format for the Q&A portion of the evening isn't finalized yet, so I thought I'd ask you guys what you would ask Chuck Palahniuk.  I've seen him read before when he was promoting Stranger Than Fiction, and the questions that the audience came up with were super lame.  We haven't figured out if it's going to be a Chuck-selecting-people-from-the-audience situation, or if I'm gonna go all James Lipton on his superstar ass.

In the event of the latter: What would you ask Chuck Palahniuk?

Happy 34th, Jenna!

Jenna Jameson turns 34 today.  Please celebrate appropriately.

One Bag At A Time

I heard this thingy on NPR yesterday about stores that will no longer offer plastic bags as of this year (Whole Foods, IKEA) and what manufacturers are doing to keep up with the "green is the new black" trend among, well, everyone.  They're producing degradable plastic bags, which is exactly what I picked up the last time I needed trash bags but wanted to stop using the Glad ones I'd been buying for years.

The story goes on to debate whether or not these degradable bags are safe for the environment, since they're still plastic.  Jury's still out, of course, since this is a relatively new product.  Anyway, the story got me thinking about some of the changes I've made since realizing just how much plastic we all consume on a daily basis, and the detrimental impact it has on our environment.  With notes:

• Aforementioned degradable plastic kitchen trash bags, which I bought at Whole Foods.  (BTW, check it: the new downtown Whole Foods is going to be huge!).  These bags work just as well as the Glad ForceFlex bags I was using before, though you can't fill them as high, since you use the bag's corners to tie it closed.  But it's a durable product.

• Per ranty's suggestion here, washing and reusing plastic food storage bags.  Holy crap, do I feel like an idiot for never realizing you could use these things over and over and over again.  I was just throwing them away, destroying aquatic life with each careless toss.  They really do hold up, and you can even buy a Bag-E-Wash to hold them in place in the dishwasher.  I just handwash mine, no biggie.

• Cotton cloth produce bags, which I found on Amazon.  The pack of three large bags I bought suits my needs perfectly for bagging up a pound of tomatillos or bunches of leafy greens.  I don't bother bagging larger produce items-- really, why bother?  Since I also buy bulk dried foods on occasion, I went with cotton over the mesh.

• Reusable grocery bags.  I bought this reusable bag at Petco, since all proceeds are donated to the Petco Foundation for animals.  I also sometimes reuse the free paper grocery bags, but most of those get put out on garbage day, full of recyclables.  I have full-on recycling mania.

I usually carry a handbag, which has been infinitely effective in decreasing the number of plastic bags I take home after a day of shopping.  I can stuff a lot of things in there and, when something ends up being too big, I just carry it to the car.

When I really look around the house at all the plastic, the task of reducing my use seems so daunting.  So I'm just cutting it back a little at a time; maybe next month I'll tackle the giant issue of cosmetics and toiletries containers.