Photo Play

It would appear I'm on an unintentional blog vacation this week.  I have like a million things going on over here right now and, honestly, I've pulled up Typepad and started to blog more than once, but then I just get hung up doing something else.

So I'm just going to do what all girl bloggers do when they don't have anything interesting to say but still want to keep people's attention: post photos of myself.  Here are some random shots from the archives:

A Canon at Fort San Cristobal and Me



Molly and Me



Steve and Me



Gretchen and Me



Erik, Tom and Me



Jenna and Me



Matty T and Me

Rachel Kramer Bussel in Minneapolis

If you're looking for a sexy party this weekend, Miss Rachel Kramer Bussel is visiting Minneapolis for the first time to teach a sex writing workshop and read from a few of her new erotica anthologies. 

I had the pleasure of interviewing Rachel for this week's issue of vita.mn, and I look forward to spending some time with her this weekend.  Time which will be spent eating cupcakes!  (If you recall, a little over three years ago, Rachel interviewed me on her fabulous cupcake blog.)

Rachel will be at the Smitten Kitten Saturday evening to teach the workshop ($15) and again on Sunday for her reading (free).  Event details are here.

Bumper Sticker Theft

Well, some jerkoff's finally done it.

Someone stole my Bill Clinton/blowjobs bumper sticker.  I handled it with grace when someone defaced it.  I even laughed it off when someone left an angry note about it on my windshield at the bank.  But to mess with another American's First Amendment rights by stealing?  Not cool.

Seriously, who does that?  This happened over a week ago and I'm finally cooled off enough to mention it, but I was really peeved.  Handsome reward for any information leading to the ass-kicking of the larcenist.

I was thinking I'd just order another one, but the guy that made them doesn't appear to be offering them any longer.  Plan B was to get a Big Lebowski bumper sticker, so I guess that's where I'm at now.  But which one?

I'm really partial to "I know my rights, man," but "a natural zesty enterprise" and "you're not blowing" are also calling my name.

No More Rollin' With An Entourage

When you wake up with Big Punisher in your head, it's bound to be a good day.

More blogging to come tomorrow.  I've been a busy little beaver this week with vita.mn-y stuff and some other stuff.

Pretty Much The Best YouTube Video Ever

Linked today on Scanner, 10-year-old Japanese girl destroys "Carry On Wayward Son" by Kansas:

Walk for Animals

Even as real celebrities battle those pesky cameramen on the streets and in courts for intruding on their lives and trading on their images, some regular folks, from parents hosting teen birthday parties to Gen Xers out on the town, have decided that the attention could be fun--and worth paying up to $1,500 for. Cowher launched Celeb 4 A Day in Austin in November and is expanding to Los Angeles this month and San Francisco in February. There are similar companies, like Private Paparazzi in San Diego and Personal Paparazzi in Britain, and wannabe big shots in other places have taken matters into their own hands, hiring freelance photographers to trail them.

Gag.  Sometimes I just have to shake my head at our celebrity-obsessed culture.  Yet another reason so many of us prefer the company of animals to that of other people.

For all my fellow animal lovers, this is your first notice about the Animal Humane Society's Walk for Animals.  It'll be on May 3rd this year in both St. Paul and Minneapolis, and I'm actually going to try to make it, even if I have to borrow one of Sarah's dogs.  I donate cash bi-monthly to the AHS (it is where I got my beloved Felicia, after all) because they always, always need it.  Homeless cats flood the AHS shelters in the spring and summer months, to the tune of about 2,000 per month.  And tragically, 71 percent of all cats surrendered to shelters across the country are euthanized.

Do what you can.  Do it for the kitties.  (And puppies!)

Sexy Gay Man Wanted

Next Wednesday is the third installment of Singled Out at The Saloon, presented by vita.mn and hosted by me.  We're basically ripping off the MTV dating game show of the same name, but with sexy gay bachelors instead of slick-haired straight dudes, and copious amounts of alcohol instead of Jenny McCarthy's huge rack.

Being a bachelor is easy and fun; you just sit in a chair and look pretty while a crowd of available men compete for a date with you.  We even write the questions for you!

Here's a video of the original to show you how it works:

Unfortunately, we can't send you on a cruise, but we will send you to dinner at a swanky Minneapolis restaurant. 

If you want to be a bachelor on Singled Out, just email Gretchen at vita.mn.  We're playing the game every last Wednesday of the month, all the way through the Pride Festival.

If you want to compete for a date or just watch all the fun, come to The Saloon next Wednesday at 10:30pm, or every last Wednesday through June.

Pussy Kontrol

Easily the funniest thing I've seen all week. The Klaw Kontrol Bag, found on Jezebel of all places:

Let me just say that this sh*t would not fly with Felicia.  I mean, how the hell are you supposed to get the cat in the bag in the first place?  It's hard enough getting her into a big carrier once a year for a checkup.  Not happenin'.

Links

Three things of high interest to me:

- Notorious the movie, starring Brooklyn rapper Jamal Woolard as the late great Biggie Smalls (who, curiously, has a Myspace page).  [link emailed from Rex]

- Sex & the City behind-the-scenes featurette on wardrobe.  Gee, how awful it must've been to try on designer dresses, shoes and jewelry for 8 hours straight with catered meals.

- A most pleasurable time-killer: 22 YouTube baseball videos that should be on SportsCenter.  Fantastic!

Plastic Dilemmas

I was listening to NPR not too long ago on my way to the grocery store and, I forget which program, but there was a woman being interviewed who vowed to give up plastic for 2008.  The interviewer was giving her a pretty hard time, saying that it would be impossible to be a normal American consumer and not bring plastic into your household on an almost daily basis.

It became obvious how difficult giving up plastic would be as soon as I got to my destination.  When you walk inside a grocery store, you immediately face the produce and deli departments, where everything is either already wrapped in a plastic casing or expected to be scooped up into a thin plastic bag.  I suppose the latter is easily remedied with something like EcoBags cotton produce bags for your fruits and veggies, but how in the heck do you buy a block of cheese? 

Vegetable oil?  Shampoo?  Anything bought frozen most likely comes in some sort of plastic freezer burn-proof covering.  Even a paper box of saltines has four individually-wrapped sleeves inside, plastic protecting the crackers from going stale.  I'm sitting at my desk right now between my notary stamp and my BlackBerry, both made of plastic.  I don't buy leather, so guess what most of my shoes are made from.  I often shop at La Placita Super Mercado, where, like seemingly all Mexican markets, I get one plastic bag for every three items purchased (and often double-bagged).

The grocery shops offer recycling for your plastic shopping bags; the big stores I frequent have big bins near the door in which you can stuff your monthly accumulation of Target bags, Nordstrom Rack bags, DSW bags, and all those generic white THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU bags from every other place.  I diligently turn my collection over to Byerly's and Cub Foods a couple times a year.

I'm also a recycling maniac at home; everything the City of Minneapolis accepts, I give.  On average, I generate just one bag of trash for every 6 full bags of recyclables.  If I composted my food waste, the difference would probably be another whole bag.  But going through the first few inches of my kitchen trash just now--hey, it's my garbage--I still see a ton of stuff that can't be recycled but will remain in the soil or floating in the ocean for all eternity: sandwich baggies, the blister pack from a light bulb, the cap from a carton of horchata.

Do you know about Captain Charles Moore?  He's the guy who's dedicated his life to researching and documenting the North Pacific Gyre: that giant patch of plastic garbage swirling around in the currents of the Pacific Ocean.  Moore founded the Algalita Marine Research Foundation, its site the home of the famous plastic-ridden albatross carcass photos. There you can also watch a clip of Synthetic Sea: Plastic in the Open Ocean, which is pretty disturbing.  Captain Moore and a team of researchers shoved off again just last week and you can follow their latest research voyage to the North Pacific Gyre on the crew blog, updated almost daily.

Moore estimates that, unless we change our plastic consuming habits, there will be sixty times more plastic than plankton floating on the surface of the Pacific Ocean in just ten years (the current ratio there is already 6:1).  Not only toxic themselves, these plastic pieces act as super sponges to all the other toxins that don't dissolve in seawater.  Fish, seals, birds, dolphins and other sea creatures mistake floating plastic for food, eat it, and die.  Considering the area of the Gyre is larger than the United States and extends at least 30 meters below the water's surface, the impact on our oceanic environment (and subsequently land and air environments) is detrimental.

So what the hell am I supposed to do?  Devoting to a life without plastic would mean reverting to an indigenous lifestyle.  Out of the question. 

One of my recent vita.mn columns was about switching to eco-friendly menstrual products, and, by the time I finished writing it, I had effectively convinced myself to stop using conventional products, so I'm good there.  What other little things can be done?  Using aforementioned cloth produce bags at the grocery store, asking for no bag when buying anything I can either stash in my purse or carry out to the car easily, and avoiding non-recyclable plastic products and packaging in general will all help out the animals and the environment.

Obviously, some consumption of plastic is unavoidable (my car, Netflix, the screw top to my jar of conditioner) but there must be some better solutions to other regular uses.  How does one buy vegetable oil if not by the plastic bottle?  And what about water?  Despite what Mayor Rybak would have you believe, the yellow crap coming from my kitchen faucet is far from drinkable. 

Shampoo?  Laundry soap?  Food storage like plastic baggies and Gladware?  Anyone out there have any great ideas for reducing our dependency on plastic?