Girl Friday

Advice for the Casual Taxpayer

It seems I've waited until the last possible minute to call the IRS and chat about this money they think I owe them. After talking to a few friends in real estate, I'm under the impression that there's no point in arguing over the ridiculously arbitrary "penalty" and "interest" calculations, as the IRS doesn't yield when it comes to that sort of thing. (Hey, I wouldn't yield either if I were some free-rein government agency that spends far more money collecting taxes than I could ever hope to bring in.)

However, I'm still open to suggestions on negotiating this insane bill. Has anyone ever actually done it without filing a successful OIC? And as I understand it, they very rarely grant OICs, which is why Roni Deutch is such a racket.

Really, I'm just curious to hear others' experiences with the IRS. We self-employed business owners always have the best stories, like my friend who received a letter requesting over $30,000 in owed taxes. He called the 1-800 number, said "sure thing, lemme just write you folks a check," then laughed until tears and hung up the phone.

Apparently, I have to call them by the end of today or they start moving decimal points.

Unpaid Taxes and the Responsible Blogger

Having worked with distressed real estate for the last umpteen years, I thought something looked a little strange in this Strib article about Kim Bartmann's (owner of Bryant-Lake Bowl, Barbette and Red Stag Supperclub) unpaid taxes.  I sent the link to a tax lawyer who's also a real estate investor and he had this to say:

Interesting story in that the Feds cannot "seize" the home of a taxpayer for unpaid tax debts unless the home is not homestead property; the Feds then foreclose the lien in state court, and the owner does not redeem from the sale. The Feds would take subject to senior mortgages, etc. The Star Tribune has no idea what they are talking about.

I suppose one could just go down to the Court and examine the complaint filed to confirm the information (presumably done by the Strib reporter), but even then it's pretty difficult to decipher exactly what's going on when you're dealing with tax codes and property foreclosure, especially when it's being done by the government. 

A person's home being seized isn't a topic to be reported on without professional advisement, even if that person is an important local figure.  Chefs and restauranteurs are the tipsters' favorite new topic; a little gloomy press starts the rumor mill cranking and, pretty soon, like a game of telephone, I'll start getting emails asking if Barbette is closing.  I'll venture to say that, in a time when preserving our precious local dining scene is critical, it's best to keep the slow news day material to cheerier stories.

Agree, disagree?  Even if a story like this is 100% factual, is it really news?  Moreover, shouldn't we be focusing intently on the positive right now?

Cupcakes, Mostaciolli, and Cheap Used Sweaters

- Reetsyburger has started up a second blog, this one on sustainable eating: You Are Where You Eat.  She's looking to "open a dialog on the many complex issues surrounding the concept of sustainability in food production and preparation....from the garden to the table."  Coolio.

- Northeast Beat interviewed the owner of Totino's and got the scoop on the restaurant's reopening.  It's slated for "early next year" and the lease has already been signed for the new space at 2535 Highway 10 in Mounds View.

- I read this on LiveJournal Twin Cities but [caveat] have yet to confirm it elsewhere: Unique and Valu Thrift Stores are having a half-price sale on Monday, Columbus Day.

- vita.mn's one-year anniversary is coming up.  To celebrate, they're giving a $500 Macy's shopping spree to the user that racks up the most karma points during the month of October.  Day-um.

- Pears are officially in season, and if you can mix them with alcohol for an original cocktail, you can win $1000.  Check out USAPears.org/cocktails for details; contest deadline is October 10th.

- Local legend, sex symbol, and gifted playwright Max Sparber gets a sparkling review for his play, "Minstrel Show or the Lynching of William Brown."

- Favored Girl Friday reader and entrepreneurial guard/forward Mike Kraabel sent this to me today: vegan cupcakes decorated with marzipan candy in the shape of yarn balls and knitted items.  Absolutely amazing!

Thursday Three

- I glanced at the Pioneer Press while having lunch at Eli's today (why does a Downtown restaurant stock a copy of the St. Paul paper?) and noticed this foreclosure story.  Is any of this really news to anyone?  Also, I love how the only comment at the time of this blog posting is from someone complaining that the author placed the Phoenix on the River development in Downtown.

- "(Rethinking) Gender: What Makes Us Male or Female?" From Newsweek two weeks ago; I was reading Em & Lo tonight and they linked to it recently.  I was just trying to explain transgenderism to a friend on Friday and couldn't quite articulate my crossed wires explanation after three pineapple upside down cake martinis, but the article sums it up nicely.  There's also a great episode of The Tyra Banks Show about transgendered youth that aired in February, but I couldn't find any video.

- This month's vita.mn karma contest prizes are the best ones yet:

1st: an 80-hour TiVo DVR

2nd: 2 tickets to see Prince on 07/07/07

3rd: a $50 Target gift card

Racking up karma points on vita.mn is so ridiculously simple that anyone can do it and have a chance at winning.  (Except me, since my independent contractor status prevents me from being eligible.)  Write mini-reviews, tag venues and events, create and edit guides, start or add to lists... seriously, it's so easy.  I'm telling you this because I'm tired of seeing the same people win all this cool stuff month after month, since no one else even tries.

I Love Thom Pham, Too

I had the day off today, so I decided to head down to the MOA and check for fall sales.  Nothing really going on yet; I picked up a pair of black fishnet tights at Nordstrom and started on my way back home.

Except then Vince called and said he was starting to come down with a cold.  So, naturally, I stopped at Azia to pick up a bowl of Spanker Soup for him.  I was greeted with the standard barrage of insults from the bartenders and innocuous come-ons from the gay waiters.  Owner Thom Pham eventually found me and I got my usual hug and kiss (on the mouth, which always weirds out Janelle), in addition to a big, excited, "DID YOU SEE ME IN THE PAPER?!"

I did not.  But I found it just now in the Strib: Azia's Thom is Phamtastic. 

Why yes, he is.  The article briefly outlines his new projects:

- Mix and Manhattan Martini Bar, in the old Molly Quinn's building on East Lake (big pale yellow box, can't miss it)
- Temple, in the old Tiburón space downtown (I've been promised a job as a mermaid in the giant fishtank)

The article also tells a more personal story about Thom, his upbringing, and what he does on a day-to-day basis.  It hints at what a sweet guy he is, and how he's also kind of dorky, both of which are completely true.

What it doesn't mention is one other thing he's working on, which is maybe privileged information, but he didn't tell me to keep it secret: Thom is looking at a space in NYC, in hopes of opening another Azia.

Go, baby, go.

Trailered Up

Kari posted this survey last week, and I've been meaning to take it again.  It's the Find Your Spot test, where you answer a series of questions and the site determines which cities you'd enjoy living in the most.  I haven't taken this survey in at least a year, and I don't remember what my original results were, so let's see what they are now...

St. Louis, MO
Cincinnati, OH
Seattle, WA
Norfolk, VA
Charlotte, NC
Oklahoma City, OK
El Paso, TX
Kansas City, MO
Evansville, IN
Springfield, MO
Indianapolis, IN
Louisville, KY
Phoenix, AZ
Chesapeake-Virginia Beach, VA
Tuscon, AZ
Forth Worth, TX
Nashville, TN
Bloomington, IN
Bellingham, WA
Columbia, MO
Detroit, MI
Toledo, OH
Orlando, FL
Omaha, NE

OMG WTF?!?1!  I suddenly feel so white bread.  I mean, Kentucky?  No Minneapolis, either, which is kinda weird.  Must be the ridiculous taxes here.  And what's with all the snowy states?  I specifically stated that I don't like cold winters.  Hrmph.  I smell a rat.

Oh, I see.  It's run by a guy who's both an attorney and a real estate broker.  (Snap.)

Speaking of white trash, I heard pretty much the funniest thing ever on Sunday night.  I was standing out on the patio of Azia with a few friends, one of which was Josh.  Josh is a chef at Cosmos, originally from Hawaii, and a super cool, super funny dude who uses surfer words like "super" and "dude" a lot.  If you've ever known anyone from Hawaii, you know the accent I'm talking about.

Anyway, we're standing outside the main door and a small group of girls walks out.  They're acting weird, looking in our direction.  Suddenly, one of my guy friends recognizes one of the girls.

Friend: "Ohmygod."
Josh: "What's up?"
Friend: "I used to have sex with that girl."
Josh: "Du-u-ude!  Are you serious?  That girl is trailered up!"

I wish my italics and exclamation points could do the accent justice.  Because to hear the way Josh talks, and to hear the absolutely genius phrase "trailered up" come out of his mouth... I just wish you all could've been there.

I think I'll go drop this quote on Overheard in Minneapolis.  Taylor tells me the site is doing very well.  16,000 hits between Saturday and Tuesday, with 3,000 unique IP addresses.  That's, like, way more than Rex gets.

Cheap Booze

Here's a quickie.

Liquor Depot (my favorite spot) is closing this Saturday to make room for more urban dwellings, and all remaining stock is marked down as follows:

Beer is 15% off
Wine is 25% off
Liquor is 30% off

Discount scotch, anyone?  I'm looking at you, Bexley.  Mad props to Jason DeRusha for getting the scoop.  I guess that's what you do best.

Mike Hatch: Consumer Advocate or Bully Trolling for Votes?

Yesterday, a complaint was filed by local lawyer N. Paul Friederichs against Minnesota Attorney General Mike Hatch's office.  The complaint alleges that Hatch's office has advised several people to stop paying on their contracts-for-deed (CDs).  I was given a copy of the Complaint yesterday, as well as the accompanying Memorandum in Support of Plaintiff's Motion for a Temporary Restraining Order, to review for personal interest.  I've decided to post both of the documents below (who doesn't love reading 28-page legal documents, huh, huh?!), as well as offer my opinion on the matter.

First of all, Friederichs is a real estate investor.  He buys distressed properties from people who can no longer make their mortgage payments for whatever reason.  He then sells the house back to them on a CD.  Friederichs makes a profit, the property is spared from foreclosure, the homeowners get to keep their homes, and their credit is saved.

For some reason, investors like Friederichs are viewed as the bad guy.  Why is that?  I can understand feeling sorry for another person when they fall on hard times, but how difficult is it to understand that the investors are doing the homeowners a favor by sparing them from foreclosure?  And it's not just irreparable damage to their credit they escape by selling to a real estate investor.  Think about it: you have $X in equity on the property.  Someone in your household loses their job or divorces you or acquires a massive drug habit, and you can no longer make the mortgage payments.  The bank is threatening foreclosure.  A real estate investor offers you $X, so you can wash your hands of the mess and start over.  Some investors, like Friederichs, even let you stay in your home, in your neighborhood, to keep making payments on the house via CD until it's paid off, at which point it's all yours. 

The other choice here is that your credit is shot, you lose your home, you don't see a single penny of the equity you've acquired, and the sheriff comes knocking on your door at the end of the month to evict you, throwing all your belongings on the front lawn while your neighbors wonder what the hell is going on because you were too embarrassed to tell them you couldn't afford to make your mortgage payments anymore, and were too stupid or too proud to explore the alternatives to this unfortunate scene playing out.

I happen to know a lot about this business, so I should also point out for those who don't that another option is to sell your home as soon as you realize you can't make your house payments.  This is the smartest course of action, should a foreclosure happen to you.  Those "We Buy Ugly Houses" billboards?  This is what those guys do.  Ever been sitting at a stoplight and seen a "Need to Sell Your House Fast?" sign stapled to a post?  Same thing.  This is a business.

So why is Mike Hatch's office allegedly calling up CD customers and telling them to stop making payments?  The real estate investment community thinks it's a PR move.  In case you've forgotten, Mike Hatch is running for governor next year.  This is possibly -- probably -- an attempt to gain votes by evoking sympathy for "the little guy".  They want voters to think that the little guy is the person who can't make their house payment anymore.  But who's really the little guy?  Isn't it the real estate investor who's trying to make a living, but is being prevented at every turn?

Hey, if you feel sorry for someone who can't make their house payment anymore, throw them some cash.  Who I feel sorry for right now is Friederichs.  He's got at least 4 properties about to go into foreclosure right now because Mike Hatch's office has allegedly advised the occupants of Friederichs' houses to stop making CD payments.  He can't pay all those mortgages, in addition to his own.  And he's not the only one.  Off the record, I know of a number of other investors experiencing the same harrassment from Mike Hatch's office since this summer.

So here comes the real little guy.  Friederichs is the first one to fight back against the harrassment and, depending on how this complaint and restraining order are considered in court, others will follow.  There's nothing illegal or unethical about the way the business operates, despite how sensational some want to make it out to be.  Everyone is losing right now.  The investors are losing money and their properties.  The homeowners are losing all of their equity, not to mention credit.  In fact, once the properties go into foreclosure, they will all be permanently evicted, anyway.  So what the hell is Mike Hatch's office doing?  Anyone?  Bueller?

Complaint and Memo in Support of Motion for Temporary Restraining Order

Fantastic Stacked Housing

Have you ever had a pasta dish so saturated with saffron that it tastes like week-old bouillabaisse?  How about a $7 salad that actually causes you to say out loud, "this is a $7 salad?"  Or maybe you ordered a Maker's Mark Manhattan, after repeating your request a third time to your server, only to be told that the bar is out of Maker's Mark (again)?

You have?  Oh yeah?  You've been to jP American Bistro lately, too?

I gave my linguine with broccoli, saffron, and pecorino a chance, I really did.  The first bite was a floret so overcooked it had gone pale and limp.  And the saffron was absolutely overpowering.  I flagged down our server just to double check that the plate hadn't been accidentally dropped into a pot of cooked mussels for an hour before making its way to me.  Nope, no shellfish or seafood whatsoever.  Just way to much fricking saffron.  Normally I like saffron.  It has a very earthy depth of flavor that's delicious with pasta or rice, especially when there's butter or cheese involved.  But this was just way too much.  I tried a second bite, this time a forkful of pasta.  Gah.  It was hard to keep in my mouth, much less chew and swallow. 

My dining companion really liked his duck broth with beef soup, but not the calamari.  The squid itself was apparently fine, but the thai dipping sauce could best be described as... oil.  I tasted it, out of curiosity and after reassurance that it was 100% vegetarian.  No sweet, no salt, no tang.  Just oily nothing.

What the hell happened to that place?  Maybe it was always like that and I didn't notice.  Maybe I was so jaded when it first opened, so desperate for another fine restaurant in or near Uptown.  After all, one can only eat at Lucia's so many times per month.  (LUCIA'S KICKS ASS.)

Speaking of eating somewhere too many times per month, I think I'm done eating at Eli's.  I like that you can get a veggie replacement for any of the burgers on the menu, but they're always way too greasy.  Like, orange pools of oil on my plate when I pick up my patty melt greasy.  Veggie burgers are not only good eating, but they're also supposed to be good for you. 

The nachos are just okay, probably because there's nothing special about the homemade tortilla chips they're made with.  You can fry chips, big deal.  Doesn't mean much to me when you're just piling on unseasoned (but not by any means unsalted) black beans and mediocre salsa on top of them.

I'll stick to just drinking at Eli's.  They have Stella (which has somehow turned into my beverage of choice lately), the staff is nice, and the patrons are friendly.  Some New Yorker struck up a conversation with me Tuesday night while I was picking at aforementioned patty melt.  I asked him for some insight on our new upstairs neighbors, also from out east.  I was curious about why they'd put out their garbage can and recycling out to the curb, but not ours.  It's a duplex, for chrissake.  They also walk right past Molly's garden to water their own, without touching hers.  Like, they have to stretch the hose past it.  He gave me some rigamoroll about east coasters respecting one another's space, and that means pretending they don't exist most of the time.  But seriously, Molly waters their garden.  I bring their trash out to the curb, and bring the containers back to the garage after it's picked up.  We're supposed to trade off.  It's common courtesy.

Whoops, sorry for the rant.  Have some links:

- Next Tuesday, September 27th, certain metro area restaurants are participating in Restaurants for Relief, a national fundraiser to help the victims of Hurricane Katrina.  All participating restaurants are members of TC Originals, and the event is on a Tuesday, so make sure you get in on that sweet TCO Tuesdays deal.

- The Shadow Percussion Project, featuring the Minnetonka High School Percussion Ensemble performing two tracks off of DJ Shadow's Entroducing.

- The Darkside of eBay.

- An interesting (if not a little dated) thread on proposed and developing condo projects in Minneapolis.

Stella's is Open

Stella's Fish Cafe and Prestige Oyster Bar opened last week.  I took a friend there for his birthday, at his request.  The three hostesses, two servers, and one wait assistant that we had were all very friendly to the point of being eager.  Needless to say, there were not too many other people in the restaurant.  My mixed greens salad was awesome; the ranch dressing made it so.  It definitely tasted fresh and housemade.  Two bites into it, however, our entrees arrived.  Oops.  I sent it back, but my friend dove into his fish and chips.  He said it was the best fish and chips he's ever had, and that's saying something (he's a bit of a connoisseur).  I will admit his fries were damn tasty.  When my new plate of cheese ravioli came back, sadness filled the room.  It's the only vegetarian option on the menu, and it's a colossal disappointment.  The sauce was too sweet and salty, and those were the only two flavors I could detect.  It tasted more like a condiment for a hot dog than the star of a plate of pasta.  The cheese ravioli drowning under a sea of tomato sauce was underdone, and barely filled.  In fact, I kept cutting the pasta open with my fork, then pressing down to try and squeeze out some of the ricotta-feta filling, but nothing ever came out.

Yeah, yeah, it's a seafood restaurant, they don't do pasta, they don't do vegetarian.  However, it's supposed to be fine dining.  Anyplace that offers a $14.00 vegetarian entree alongside fish and seafood plates just starting at the same price should be able to whip up something better that what I was served.  And what's with all the parsley?  I'll take a little garnish, but don't drop two handfuls of chopped parsley on top of my dish.  Gross.  Oh, and the beer list sucks.  It's not only short, but has a limited range of flavors.  No complaints about the scotch list.  The food menu is too long and clumsy.  I didn't think the red plastic tumblers and dollar-store ketchup bottles went too well with the cloth napkins and personalized plates.  My friend had to turn over his paper placemat, as he didn't care to learn step-by-step how to gut a fish before he was about to eat one for dinner.  A restaurant can't be a cross between Flameburger and The Oceanaire.  Find a happy medium.

Stella's will likely survive in Uptown, but I doubt it would have a chance as a downtown dining destination.  It's still got the nice patio and is very centrally located among all the new condos and condos-to-be.  Speaking of which, here's the conversation that transpired in the car en route to Stella's, driving past the real estate office on Lake and Hennepin:

"There's the Financial Freedom office, in case you were wondering."

"Financial Freedom for condos in Uptown, huh.  Financially free?  No.  Financially f*cked."