Girl Friday

Date Here, Get Your Date Here

Times are tough all over, especially in the service industry.  Business has never been slower for me, so it's time to reexamine and possibly expand my list of services.

No, not like that, you pervert.

By now, nearly everybody's read at least one article about wingmen services.  If you're not familiar, I'll fill you in: a wingman service is an agency that provides you with a partner in crime for a night out.  This person's only job is to approach other people on your behalf, with the intent of helping you get a date with them.  Wingmen pull others into your conversations, get phone numbers, and make you look good.  The average price for such a service is--get this--$50.00 per hour.  Yikes, huh?  An initial consultation is generally required to better serve the client's needs, then the two of you hit the bars or the parties or whatever it is you've decided is the best means to get you laid dates.

Wingmen services offering female companions are now far more popular than those offering males.  The reason here is obvious, isn't it?  I would feel much more at ease if I was approached by a woman in a bar who wanted me to meet her friend.  Being hit on while I'm out with my pals is usually a nuisance.  I'm there to socialize and meet new, fun people; not to worry about impressing someone or, worse yet, having to endure pick-up line after pick-up line. 

That being said, I'm adding Image Consultation (read: Wingman) to my list of services, right next to Personal Shopping.  I've helped more than a few friends with their wardrobes and hairstyles, and I've set plenty of them up on dates.  Have I ever mentioned my love connection success stories?  We're talking marriages, here.  Let's not leave out the fact that I've worked in the women's fashion industry on and off for the last 11 years.  If there's anything I know how to do, it's sell something to another woman.  Oh, and here's the really awesome part: I'll charge my regular hourly rate of $25.00, which is half the price of the wingman agencies.  Minneapolis doesn't even have an up and running agency, anyway.  So call me and we'll go find the love of your life.  Or whatever you're looking for.

Related links:

• New York's Wingwomen.
• Spotted on City Flirting: Angels of DC.
• Ladywingmen, in San Francisco, DC, Atlanta, Orlando, and Philadelphia.
• Spotted on Craigslist: someone's trying to start an agency in Minneapolis.
• Virtual Wingman sends a free, personalized email on your behalf.

Loud Guitars and Cigarettes

I totally missed Scout Niblett last night.  I drove over to Rex's apartment and we went to the show together, but as soon as we were parked in the ramp, we realized that the tickets were still at his place.  By the time we got back downtown, Scout was at the end of the last song of her set.  But hey, at least I ran into Sarah Buckley so she could tell me how great the set was.  Delicious, even.  You know, the set I missed.

I wasn't all that jazzed about The Kills, since the last time I saw them Alison Mosshart (VV) was so strung out she could hardly stand or sing.  She was stone sober last night, though, and they were pretty good.  My crush on Jamie Hince (Hotel) seems to be back in full effect.  Not just because of his dorky robotic stage moves, but also because he totally touched me as he walked through the crowd during the Bloc Party set.  I left early because I'm old and can't metabolize alcohol worth a damn anymore, but I liked what I heard from them last night, too.

One of the club bouncers was handing out free cigarettes last night ("Smoke 'em while you still can!") to mark the beginning of the Minneapolis Smoking Ban, which went into effect at midnight.  Basically, there's no more smoking in any bars, restaurants, or pool halls.  Ramsey County has also implemented new smoking regulations, but it's only a partial ban.  There are a few different rules, but most importantly, establishments can apply for an exemption if more than 50% of their net sales are from beer/wine/liquor.  City Pages published a PDF of the bars that currently allow smoking, in no particular order.  I wonder how many people picked today to quit.  I'm betting quite a few.

It's been too long since I've relaxed and watched a movie.  The two Children of Dune DVDs are sitting next to me, still tucked away in their unopened Netflix envelopes.  And I haven't even cracked this April issue of Vogue.  Sounds like a perfect way to spend a Thursday night to me.

An Open Letter to Brannon Braga

                                    

                              

Dear Brannon Braga,

I'm a really big fan of your work, especially Star Trek: The Next Generation.  I own the entire series on DVD, and can frequently be heard proclaiming that it truly is the best thing to ever happen to television.  I had seen your name on a TV screen a thousand times before actually seeing you, back in 1998 when I watched Trekkies for the first time.  "Damn," I thought, "he's kind of a hottie.  There should really be more Brannon Braga in this documentary."  Imagine my surprise and utter joy when I watched Trekkies 2 this year and saw even more of you.  And you're even more of a hottie now!  So, if you happen to be in the Minneapolis area and want to hang out with a fan--you know, someone who appreciates you, someone who understands you, someone you can really talk to--just look me up.  How tall are you, anyway?

Signed,

I Have a Star Trek Tattoo, Wanna See It?

Links:

Brannon Braga on STARTREK.COM
Brannon Braga on Memory Alpha
Brannon Braga on IMDb

A Day in the Enhanced Life

At the risk of sounding like a ringing endorsement, I'd like to share some recently-discovered products that have significantly improved the quality of my life:

- Tree Hut Shea Butter Body Butter.  I just found this stuff at Target.  It smells like yummy macaroons and has all kinds of good stuff in it like shea butter (doy), cocoa butter, lanolin, and beeswax.  Cheap, too ($2.48).

- Sally Hansen 18 Hour Lip Treatment.  If you know me personally, you know that I am obsessed with smearing emollients on my lips.   I've tried everything I can get my hands on in search of the perfect product, and I'm confident that search is over.  This stays on forever and keeps your lips soft, shiny, and just a little bit tinted.  My only beef with this product is the packaging.  I don't usually carry a purse--rather I stuff everything in my pockets--so it's a bit bulky for that.

- No Ad Instant Sunless Tanning Lotion.  What I like about this lotion is the gradual, subtle coloration.  You can apply it a few days in a row to get the tan you want, unlike other self-tanners that leave you scrambling for the loofah after you accidentally applied too much here and too little there. 

- Neutrogena Triple Moisture Deep Recovery Hair Mask.  I honestly don't know what I did before finding this conditioner.  I have wavy hair with thick follicles, and most daily conditioners leave it feeling coarse and dry.  I use this stuff as directed for once-a-week deep treatment, but also add a dollop to my regular conditioner every day.  Voila, soft and shiny all the time.  Of course, I also credit ISO's magic styling product for manageability.

- Whole Foods Solid White Albacore Tuna, No Salt Added.  If I ate tuna, I'm sure I could tell you that this is a fine product.  Regular canned tuna is chock-full of sodium, which isn't good for anyone, especially kitties.  But this low-salt treat is for someone else, and it makes her very happy.  It also keeps her skin and coat healthy and shiny, and reduces shedding.

Better, More

I love Thorn, Thorn is great, Thorn should be on the air more, Thorn should be The Current's drive time DJ.  Who's with me?

They're Practically Giving this Stuff Away

- This printable coupon gets you 30% off all regular-priced books, CDs, and DVDs at Border's and Waldenbooks stores this weekend.

- Saks' Off 5th is having a clearance sale, up to 70% off specially tagged items.

- The Goodwill Truckload Event is this weekend.  Stores are receiving several bins of new products purchased from retailers' returns and overstocks.

- Off Price Sales, the store that sells Target's returns, is going out of business.  They normally sell the items at 70% retail, but all merchandise is now discounted an additional 50-75% off.  The store is located at 5757 Sanibel Drive in Minnetonka.

Hear, Hear

My heterosexual life partner Molly started a blog today, where she'll be chronicling all the really weird things that only happen to her and not normal people.  I'm also strongly encouraging her to write about growing up.  She has a particular knack for writing from a child's perspective that reduces me to a giggly puddle.

Retrievers and Bichons and Yorkies, Oh My

A client called yesterday in need of pet taxi service.  There was a family emergency and they had to leave town immediately, so the dog needed a ride to the boarding kennel.  I picked up Ginger the Golden Retriever and drove her down to Woof Dah in Burnsville.  What a fun little place!  The dogs were so cute.  It's a cageless facility, so they just run around and play together all day, then at night they sleep in one big room full of doggie beds.  Ginger is a rather rambunctious dog.  I had to pull over several times on the way to the kennel to situate her and calm her down.  I talked to Ginger's owner after I dropped her off; apparently Ginger is accustomed to riding in the front seat.  No wonder she was such a handful.  I set up her doggie pillow and belted her leash in the back seat, so she was practically choking herself trying to climb up front with me.  I'll also be bringing Ginger home next week, but she gets to ride shotgun this time.  Plus, If I pick her up late afternoon, she'll be good and tired from playing all day.

I finalized some arrangements this week for a client who is in need of dogwalking and grocery shopping for 3 weeks this July.  She's an executive assistant that called on behalf of her CEO, who lives in another part of the country but comes to Minnesota every July.  He brings his daughters and his dogs with him, but the daughters go to summer school while they're here so the dogs need some company during the day.  You know what the crazy part about this job is?  She contacted four different errands services and I'm the only person who bothered to return her email.  She keeps thanking me on the phone, saying that she's so grateful that I'm willing to do this because it means she doesn't have to worry about it.  I just keep thanking her right back.  I'm ecstatic about getting a 3-week job, especially one that involves playing with 2 fun little dogs.  I'm truly astonished that no one else would even respond to her inquiry.  I felt like apologizing on behalf of my industry.

The rest of this is just me brainstorming out loud, so read at your own risk.  I finally found a new template that I like for my website redesign.  Webmaster Clint sent me a bunch of layouts to choose from, and I picked one that will look nice with my logo and still leave the site uncluttered.  We'll be eliminating the Rates page altogether, and breaking up the current Services page, maybe something like this:

• Pet Sitting, Dog Walking, Pet Taxi
• Party Planning, Written Correspondence, Reminder Service
• Personal Shopping, Grocery Shopping, Gift Shopping, Special Occasions, Returns and Exchanges
• Pick-up and Drop-off, Laundry, Auto Service
• Relocation Assistance, Wait Service, Home Organization
• Event Reservations, Travel Arrangements
• Bill Paying, Postal Needs, Bank Deposits
• Mobile Notary Public, Business Research, Administrative Assistance

The reason for breaking it up would be more search hits, of course.  The only thing I'm worried about is having sparsely filled pages.  Clint suggested the site become photo-heavy, not only to fill up the pages, but to make it more appealing for visitors to look at.  I suppose he is right.  But I don't want a bunch of dorky pictures of myself, so I'm going to have to get creative and think of some fun photos to take that are related to my business.

What's there to eat around here, anyway?

Today started out a little somber.  I read the Strib online every morning, and today they published profiles of all the school shooting victims.  I started crying when I saw them.  It wasn't so much reading a blurb about their lives, but seeing their smiling, angelic little faces.  So unbelieveably sad.

I'm not sure how to segue into another topic from that, so I won't try.

My mom came down this afternoon, and we had a late lunch at Crescent Moon Bakery.  She'd never had their Afghani Pizza before and absolutely loved it.  What's not to love?  The sauce is spicy and tangy and garlicky, and the Afghani flat bread is so flavorful.  I declare the best pizzas in Minneapolis to be: Fat Lorenzo's Slim's Combo, Crescent Moon Bakery's Afghani Pizza, Punch's Neapolitan-style Margherita, and Davanni's Chicago-style Deep Dish.  I have yet to try Galactic Pizza, but maybe they'll round out the group so I can have a "Top 5 Pizzas in Minneapolis" list.  Also, a word of advice to the first three restaurants I just listed: get a website.

I guess I've eaten out a little more than usual this week.  I went to Natraj on Tuesday night for the first time in a couple of years.  It was pretty good, though I still contend that Udupi is the best Indian restaurant around.  My favorite dish there is the Baigan Bartha, an egglplant curry with peas and tomatoes.  Natraj had something very similar, so I ordered it.  Meh.  Udupi reigns supreme!  After dinner, my friend and I walked over to Zeno and had some after-dinner coffee.  Except my coffee was a lot more like a Blue Moon Belgian-style White Ale.  I'd never been to Zeno before, so I didn't realize they had a full bar.  Scotch selection and prices were comparable to surrounding restaurants.  I honestly didn't think Zeno would survive, but it's actually thriving.  So much so that they opened another location downtown recently.  I suppose the whole "Uptown is the new suburb" thing is really helping out businesses over there as condos continue to sprout up.  Real estate development is flourishing in that area, unlike just south of the river where investors are losing money faster than they could've spent it.  It's too bad; all the converted loft spaces over there are just beautiful.

Some dining notes:

- The Strib reviews 112 Eatery, the Warehouse District's newest restaurant.  Looks like ther's only one vegetarian menu item, gnocchi, but I suspect such an experienced staff could whip up something more creative if asked.

- La Belle Vie in Stillwater (again, no website) is celebrating their 7-year anniversary with a special dinner on both April 10th and April 17th.  Cost for the 6-course meal is $100 per person.  Call 651-430-3545 or me for reservations.

"What? I thought you had the whip."

It turns out, my mom's not the only person who thinks I'm funny.  A real publisher that publishes real books called today and asked if I'd be interested in writing a "witty, sexy little book" for him.  I've never attempted to write a novel before, so I'm not quite sure how to go about it.  Aside from this here blog, I've really only got a few smutty short stories under my belt.  So, I sought writing advice from an author friend of mine (again, real books here).  His suggestion?  "Take your life, have a few additional adventures if necessary, fictionalize it all, and you're good to go."  Gee, thanks Mark.  You know, it sounds kinda easy when you say it.

There are a few funny things that have happened to me in the past that qualify as book-worthy, without even having to embellish.  Like the time I got into an argument with a gay friend on Halloween over who was going to be the Sub in our BDSM costume.  Or testing my best friend's guaranteed sexual cure for the common cold.  Perhaps even the ridiculously embarrassing conversation I had with my mother over lunch last week about my thong underwear and why they don't ride up.  After some thought, I realized that my life is filled with sex and comedy.  Just don't tell my dad.

Work is crazy again this week, so here are some links:

- Movies, movies, movies.  The 23rd Annual Minneapolis - St. Paul International Film Festival calendar is up.

- Pending city approval, Whole Foods is coming to Minneapolis!  Hooray!

- Funny but weird: a fanfic site where you can go on a virtual date with Jennifer, the Watson's Girl.

- Saw this casting call on Monday for a new reality TV show involving roadtrips.  I dunno; I think I'd miss my cat too much.

- Pretty clever ad from Belgium warning about the horrors of being a teenage mom.

Before I go to bed, I'd just like to remind some of you ladies out there that there is still snow on the ground.  Your open-toed slingbacks will see plenty of daylight when the temperature gets above 50 degrees, so please put your little darlings back in the closet.  You know who you are.