I gotta say, I am loving KMOJ since they started getting serious about their “R & B Guarantee”. Though I’m not sure exactly how much R & B they’re guaranteeing. All I know is that every time I flip over to 89.9 FM, it’s either an amazing diva belting out some serious soul (Holy sh*t, have you heard Leela James?), or some baby-makin’ classic that reminds me of being 12 and doing the grind in front of my floor-to-ceiling mirror, occasionally pausing to sing longingly at the cut-out magazine pictures of Keith Sweat taped all over the ceiling above my bed. Why my parents allowed this, I have no idea.
Speaking of my parents, I think I should start using some sort of parental advisory warning for them on my blog entries. Things might start to get a little racy over here, now that I’ve tied with Diablo Cody for the honor of local Sexy Talk Blog of the Year. That’s a lot of pressure, trying to maintain that sort of reputation. Though I deem myself unworthy of such prestigious company.
I need to get my hands on Diablo’s book. I still don’t have it for some stupid reason. Really, I’m just lazy. I guess that's a pretty stupid reason.
So, I found out that my childhood best friend’s most recent ex-boyfriend is my UPS delivery guy. How weird is that? Okay, not that weird, I suppose, considering they met because he was also her UPS delivery guy [bow-chicka-bow-wow]. Anyway, said UPS guy delivered an unexpected gift yesterday: the marble mortar and pestle from my Amazon Wish List that I’ve been wanting forever. My only clue as to who it was from was the attached, handwritten note card:
Happy Holidays to my favorite hostess with the mostest.
- The Cleavage-y Slut Bomb
Thanks, Marchelle! The best part about the card is that it was very obviously written out by an older man. It has that elderly penmanship; you know how all old folks write exactly the same? Like that. I have the card sitting here at my desk because it makes me laugh. Every time I look at it, I imagine some old guy sitting at a desk, processing orders, having to transcribe all these weird personal gift messages. The best, best part? He underlined “Slut Bomb”.
Well, I did NOT check out the links to Sexy Talk Blog or Diablo Cody -- yet. Glad to hear about KMOJ, you were probably too young to remember but we listened to that station quite a bit before we moved out of its range. Keith Sweat? Who's that? What mirrors? I fell off my chair with the visual of the old guy writing that note (arthritic penmanship). L,Mom P.S. Let me know your schedule.
Posted by: MOM | January 05, 2006 at 07:09 AM
I find your blog more entertaining than Diablo's.
Posted by: Hue | January 05, 2006 at 11:54 AM
Aw, thanks Hue!
Mother: has it been so long since I lived in that little house on the prairie? Has it been so long since you converted my old bedroom into your office and installed a door leading out to the patio which would've been really f**king handy when I was seventeen? Okay, so it's been 11 years. But I still don't think I should have to remind you that one entire wall of my old bedroom was tiled mirrors.
Posted by: Alexis | January 05, 2006 at 12:41 PM
Of course I remember those mirrored tiles!!! They ripped off the wall when I removed them and had to re-sheetrock the entire room!! I'm still laughing about an old man underlining "slut bomb."
Posted by: MOM | January 05, 2006 at 01:02 PM
What Mom must think of me now. *sigh*
Posted by: The Cleavagey Slut Bomb | January 05, 2006 at 02:51 PM
What exactly is a slut bomb and how can I get one dropped on my residence?
Posted by: Not2Sure | January 05, 2006 at 06:40 PM
You don't want that. "The Slut Bomb" (US-CAT des. FX#HO99) is a variation of "the OMG LOL" bomb (US-CAT des. FX#WTF87) which has has it's fourteen megaton warhead payload exchanged for a five mile dispersal bacteriological warhead. While such warheads were designed to carry anthrax, ebola, and T-Virus strains, in the case of the Slut Bomb the payload is a lethal cocktail of HIV, Syphillis, and promises to call you tomorrow.
Posted by: Bexley | January 06, 2006 at 02:38 PM
Hey! I resent that!
Posted by: The Cleavagey Slut Bomb | January 06, 2006 at 11:09 PM