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Don't forget my very romantic plan of sitting at home and trying not to think about it while eating egg salad. Okay, just had to get that out of my system. Yay valentine's day!


Here's what this dood needs to do:

This weekend, go to Walgreens, get some pink and red and white (and maybe some black) construction paper and some small doilies and some markers and some glitter. Then track down a small shoe box.

First, make a Valentine box by decorating the shoe box with the materials as best you can. It doesn't even have to look good, just put a bunch of stuff all over it so it's ornate and very visible.

Then go get some cheap Valentines from Rainbow -- possibly some Yu-gi-oh Valentines, because they're pretty tough -- and write a bunch of crazy things on there that pertain to your relationship, like:

* Thinking about sex with you!
* You are my favorite!
* I hope my VD present is expensive!
* Let's go on more dates!
* Even though you tried to cover it up, I heard you fart at supper on Tuesday - it was cute!
* I look forward to your cooking!

Or whatever you see fit.

Once this is done, put the Valentines into the Valentine box. Make sure you have enough Valentines in the box so it's obvious there are some Valentines in there. Right away in the morning on the 14th, send the Valentine box with her to set out at work.

Two awesome things will happen:

1. She will be able to show off to her co-workers. If I learned anything from this week's episode of The Office, it's that your girlfriend isn't going to sleep with you unless he gets to show off to her co-workers.

2. She will read all the Valentines and think about you all day long. And if you're lucky, she might read a sweet one first and then let her co-workers read some, which would be hilarious if they accidentally read the sex and/ or fart ones.

Not only will she appreciate the effort and the thoughtfulness, but she will also appreciate the creativity and specialization. Then whatever lame activities you have planned for the rest of the day, supper or whatever, will seem even more cutesy because you can talk about what was written on the Valentines.

And if she doesn't get through the 300 Yu-gi-oh Valentines you stuffed into the Valentine box, she can read them later in the day!





Actually, I believe Taylor is single.

While I don't recommend his idea for a significant other, it might be a cute thing to do for a good friend. I surprised my friend and neighbor Jerra (AKA The Slutty Canadian) with something similar last year, except there was no Yu-gi-oh involved.

Picture 1

Picture 2


Oh! There's always the ever-popular White Castle Valentine's Day special. Hostess seating, candlelit dining, and your own server. 5-8pm, reservations required.

black java

I'll second that "Geez" from mom and dad. Nice writing Alexis.


As one of the many people you don't know who reads your blog (fairly) regularly, you have ascended to new heights. How? Your parents read that. Nice.

Those are the kinds of things I'd save as ammo over a liquor-lubricated, tragic family dinner. But you...you just put it all out there, and on any old Thursday!

Keep on keepin' on...


Thanks for the encouragement!

It became impossible to keep my alter ego from good ol' Mom and Dad, so, yeah... sometimes you just gotta do your thing and hope they still love and respect you anyway.


Speaking of parents and sex...

My dad taught me the phrase "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?" when I was 14.

Some things you just remember. Other things...well they inhibit your capacity for commitment well into adulthood, eh?


Alexis- I am in love with you...xxooxxooxoemechocat
p.s. that was my vision of the perfect night, too. As you can tell I am home alone with my wine, and my keyboard. Happy Vday to me and to you, who like a fine wine is aging so well.


I am a week late on this but am still amazed that you are like, in my head or something. That DOES sound like a perfect Valentine's Day. All men should bow down to the Girl Friday altar! Couldn't have said it better myself.

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