Bumper Sticker Theft

Well, some jerkoff's finally done it.

Someone stole my Bill Clinton/blowjobs bumper sticker.  I handled it with grace when someone defaced it.  I even laughed it off when someone left an angry note about it on my windshield at the bank.  But to mess with another American's First Amendment rights by stealing?  Not cool.

Seriously, who does that?  This happened over a week ago and I'm finally cooled off enough to mention it, but I was really peeved.  Handsome reward for any information leading to the ass-kicking of the larcenist.

I was thinking I'd just order another one, but the guy that made them doesn't appear to be offering them any longer.  Plan B was to get a Big Lebowski bumper sticker, so I guess that's where I'm at now.  But which one?

I'm really partial to "I know my rights, man," but "a natural zesty enterprise" and "you're not blowing" are also calling my name.

Comments

[Matt]

I think it has to be "you're not blowing," considering.

[Matt]

Not pretty, but it does the job, right?

[Jeremy]

This is precisely why I don't put bumper stickers on my car. Because other people are stupid and wrong.

[Sarah Buckley]

I rock the..give me the ringer chop chop.. for me it will always be Walter the man is my weakness. I wish I could wear yellow sharpshooters day and night! For you Bunny? I think Maude.

[Bexley]

You need to find one that says, "In this world there's two kinds of people, my friend: Those with loaded guns and those who swallow. You swallow."

[Deb]

Hey, Matt found one for you!

[geoff]

I don't want to get all puritanical here, and I'd never want to abridge another's right to free speech, and I'd never deface anyone else's property over it, and I certainly love (getting) blow jobs...but ponder this: My 6 year old can read, and as an occasionally responsible parent, I'm really not ready for him to be walking through a parking lot looking at cars and seeing your bumper sticker and turning to ask me "dad, what's a blowjob?".

So while I, once again, enthusiastically support your right to free speech, I urge you to consider how you exercise it in such a public forum.

[Audrey]

Ah! I've had the same thing happen to me. One of the pro-choice bumper stickers on my old car was keyed when I parked it in the parking lot at 3M headquarters.

[Bexley]

Wait- how did they steal it? I've tried removing bumper stickers before, prior to selling a car. It's hardly an easy thing to do when you're in your driveway and armed with solvents.

[Tara]

What happened the "make your own" bumper-sticker concept you were talking about a couple years ago.

I still think "Free Tibet With Purchase" would be the most awesome bumper sticker ever.

[customized stickers]

listen, no more stealing bumper stickers for you ok. just go to Custom Bumper Stickers and they'll send you free custom stickers of the big lebowski or whatever it is you want on them. your too cute to end up in jail.