Girl Friday

The Problem with VD

Behold, the first ever Girl Friday repost.  By request, my 2006 Valentine's Day Reader Mailbag:

Dear Girl Friday,

I'm at a loss: my girlfriend is a holiday / special occasion fanatic, and I've been having a hard time matching her enthusiasm for certain days of the year.  Next up is Valentine's Day, which I'll admit I totally dropped the ball on last year.  I have issues already because I feel like it's such a manufactured holiday, but this year I need to come through -- I'm not talking gifts or candy, I'm trying to come up with something fun we can go out and do.  Maybe a nice meal, a fun show, or...?  What's the hot (non-contrived) tip for a young couple who both work way too much and probably need some one-on-on time out on the town?  Help me, Girl Friday.  You're my only hope.

Baby, baby.  I feel your pain.

I am most certainly not a fan of Valentine's Day, despite being a highly romantic girl.  Sure I drink like a fish and swear like a sailor.  Sure I write smutty stories in my spare time and watch porn like most people watch the evening news.  But really, I'm a huge sucker for the everyday cheese.  Nothing gets my waterworks going like a sappy chick flick (which I'll only watch in the privacy of my own home) or an unexpected bouquet of flowers (which, to date, I've only ever received from Molly).  I really do live for the sentimental stuff.

So, my dear, how long have you been with your girlfriend?  And would she be hysterically upset if you didn't plan anything "special" for Valentine's Day?  A holiday which you clearly believe is contrived and are opposed to celebrating in the first place?  Maybe I'm overstepping my concierge bounds here and delving into the realm of relationship advice columnist, but I might persuade you to come clean with your mate in hopes that she cuts you a little slack.  You're obviously stressed out about it, and, in my opinion, you shouldn't be.

But.  To help you out, I'm going to throw out a few suggestions.  Let's just say that if you were my boyfriend, and we were to have an ideally romantic February 14th 2006, it might include some of the following highlights:

- Meet me for lunch.  It would be a much appreciated break in my day.  Nothing too everyday; maybe something ethnic.  Someplace we've been meaning to try, but just haven't gotten around to it yet.  (Also, reservations for dinner at my favorite spots in town are as tough to get on VD as they are on New Year's Eve, so if you haven't made them by now, you're f**ked.)

- Come over after work.  Come bearing a liquor store gift that I wouldn't normally indulge in for myself; a nice pinot noir, a bottle of Dalwhinnie, a 750 of Grey Goose, whatever.  Then try to arrive at my apartment at the same time I do, so you can fix me a drink and keep me away from the computer.  As much as I'll resist, a night off will be good for me.  And tell me that, say, "a night off will be good for you."

- Get me halfway drunk, but still sober enough to want food.  Pop in a ST: TNG disc while you go make something for us to eat from whatever I have in my kitchen.  And don't yell to me in the living room for help; if you're completely helpless in the culinary arena, then pick up a par-baked cheese pizza from Fat Lorenzo's and throw it in the oven once I'm decently buzzed.  I also recommend you get at least 4 chocolate cupcakes for us to share over the course of the evening.

- Once we've sobered up after eating pizza and cupcakes, then gotten sufficiently drunk again on digestifs, take me to a rock show.  The more rockin', the better.  This will probably be "Not Your Mother's Valentine's Day" at The Turf Club, featuring Sic Bay, Half Fiction, Rat Salad, and Tight Pants*.  At some point in the evening, kiss me unabashedly in the middle of the crowd.  Tell me you love me.  Tell me it's time to go home, and help me put on my coat.

- Drive my drunk ass home.  Stay the night.  Snuggle with me in bed, kiss my face and my forehead, play with my hair, and tell me how much fun you had tonight.  Do this until I fall asleep.

- Call in sick to work the next morning.  Refill my water glass on the nightstand.  Initiate some serious sex.  Do not leave my bed for hours; not until the severe pangs of hunger or the crippling dizziness of fatigue have stricken your body useless.

See?  Easy as pie.  Alright, I admit, it's not quite what you were asking for.  But maybe it's just what she wants.  It's what I'd want, anyway, and I like to think I'm a pretty normal girl for the most part.

So best of luck to you, and please do report back.  I wouldn't be surprised if you fielded a marriage proposal after a night like that.  If not, you know where to find me.

*[That was last year. This year's recommended shows are G Love & Special Sauce at First Ave, Dan Wilson at the Cedar Cultural Center, and New Congress at Babalu.  Check the events calendar on vita.mn for other stuff that might tickle your fancy.]

Blackey's Bakery Closing

Public Service Announcement: Blackey's Bakery in Northeast Minneapolis is closing.  The last day of business is this Saturday, July 29th, so stock up on kolaches and stuff your freezer full of them, because this was the only Polish-Danish bakery in town.

Trailered Up

Kari posted this survey last week, and I've been meaning to take it again.  It's the Find Your Spot test, where you answer a series of questions and the site determines which cities you'd enjoy living in the most.  I haven't taken this survey in at least a year, and I don't remember what my original results were, so let's see what they are now...

St. Louis, MO
Cincinnati, OH
Seattle, WA
Norfolk, VA
Charlotte, NC
Oklahoma City, OK
El Paso, TX
Kansas City, MO
Evansville, IN
Springfield, MO
Indianapolis, IN
Louisville, KY
Phoenix, AZ
Chesapeake-Virginia Beach, VA
Tuscon, AZ
Forth Worth, TX
Nashville, TN
Bloomington, IN
Bellingham, WA
Columbia, MO
Detroit, MI
Toledo, OH
Orlando, FL
Omaha, NE

OMG WTF?!?1!  I suddenly feel so white bread.  I mean, Kentucky?  No Minneapolis, either, which is kinda weird.  Must be the ridiculous taxes here.  And what's with all the snowy states?  I specifically stated that I don't like cold winters.  Hrmph.  I smell a rat.

Oh, I see.  It's run by a guy who's both an attorney and a real estate broker.  (Snap.)

Speaking of white trash, I heard pretty much the funniest thing ever on Sunday night.  I was standing out on the patio of Azia with a few friends, one of which was Josh.  Josh is a chef at Cosmos, originally from Hawaii, and a super cool, super funny dude who uses surfer words like "super" and "dude" a lot.  If you've ever known anyone from Hawaii, you know the accent I'm talking about.

Anyway, we're standing outside the main door and a small group of girls walks out.  They're acting weird, looking in our direction.  Suddenly, one of my guy friends recognizes one of the girls.

Friend: "Ohmygod."
Josh: "What's up?"
Friend: "I used to have sex with that girl."
Josh: "Du-u-ude!  Are you serious?  That girl is trailered up!"

I wish my italics and exclamation points could do the accent justice.  Because to hear the way Josh talks, and to hear the absolutely genius phrase "trailered up" come out of his mouth... I just wish you all could've been there.

I think I'll go drop this quote on Overheard in Minneapolis.  Taylor tells me the site is doing very well.  16,000 hits between Saturday and Tuesday, with 3,000 unique IP addresses.  That's, like, way more than Rex gets.

Reader Mailbag - The Problem with VD

No, not that kind of VD.  Valentine's Day.  Sheesh.

Dear Girl Friday,

I'm at a loss: my girlfriend is a holiday / special occasion fanatic, and I've been having a hard time matching her enthusiasm for certain days of the year.  Next up is Valentine's Day, which I'll admit I totally dropped the ball on last year.  I have issues already because I feel like it's such a manufactured holiday, but this year I need to come through -- I'm not talking gifts or candy, I'm trying to come up with something fun we can go out and do.  Maybe a nice meal, a fun show, or...?  What's the hot (non-contrived) tip for a young couple who both work way too much and probably need some one-on-on time out on the town?  Help me, Girl Friday.  You're my only hope.

Baby, baby.  I feel your pain. 

I am most certainly not a fan of Valentine's Day, despite being a highly romantic girl.  Sure I drink like a fish and swear like a sailor.  Sure I write smutty stories in my spare time and watch porn like most people watch the evening news.  But really, I'm a huge sucker for the everyday cheese.  Nothing gets my waterworks going like a sappy chick flick (which I'll only watch in the privacy of my own home) or an unexpected bouquet of flowers (which, to date, I've only ever received from Molly).  I really do live for the sentimental stuff.

So, my dear, how long have you been with your girlfriend?  And would she be hysterically upset if you didn't plan anything "special" for Valentine's Day?  A holiday which you clearly believe is contrived and are opposed to celebrating in the first place?  Maybe I'm overstepping my concierge bounds here and delving into the realm of relationship advice columnist, but I might persuade you to come clean with your mate in hopes that she cuts you a little slack.  You're obviously stressed out about it, and, in my opinion, you shouldn't be.

But.  To help you out, I'm going to throw out a few suggestions.  Let's just say that if you were my boyfriend, and we were to have an ideally romantic February 14th 2006, it might include some of the following highlights:

- Meet me for lunch.  It would be a much appreciated break in my day.  Nothing too everyday; maybe something ethnic.  Someplace we've been meaning to try, but just haven't gotten around to it yet.  (Also, reservations for dinner at my favorite spots in town are as tough to get on VD as they are on New Year's Eve, so if you haven't made them by now, you're f**ked.)

- Come over after work.  Come bearing a liquor store gift that I wouldn't normally indulge in for myself; a nice pinot noir, a bottle of Dalwhinnie, a 750 of Grey Goose, whatever.  Then try to arrive at my apartment at the same time I do, so you can fix me a drink and keep me away from the computer.  As much as I'll resist, a night off will be good for me.  And tell me that, say, "a night off will be good for you."

- Get me halfway drunk, but still sober enough to want food.  Pop in a ST: TNG disc while you go make something for us to eat from whatever I have in my kitchen.  And don't yell to me in the living room for help; if you're completely helpless in the culinary arena, then pick up a par-baked cheese pizza from Fat Lorenzo's and throw it in the oven once I'm decently buzzed.  I also recommend you get at least 4 chocolate cupcakes for us to share over the course of the evening.

- Once we've sobered up after eating pizza and cupcakes, then gotten sufficiently drunk again on digestifs, take me to a rock show.  The more rockin', the better.  This will probably be "Not Your Mother's Valentine's Day" at The Turf Club, featuring Sic Bay, Half Fiction, Rat Salad, and Tight Pants.  At some point in the evening, kiss me unabashedly in the middle of the crowd.  Tell me you love me.  Tell me it's time to go home, and help me put on my coat. 

- Drive my drunk ass home.  Stay the night.  Snuggle with me in bed, kiss my face and my forehead, play with my hair, and tell me how much fun you had tonight.  Do this until I fall asleep.

- Call in sick to work the next morning.  Refill my water glass on the nightstand.  Initiate some serious sex.  Do not leave my bed for hours; not until the severe pangs of hunger or the crippling dizziness of fatigue have stricken your body useless.

See?  Easy as pie.  Alright, I admit, it's not quite what you were asking for.  But maybe it's just what she wants.  It's what I'd want, anyway, and I like to think I'm a pretty normal girl for the most part.

So best of luck to you, and please do report back.  I wouldn't be surprised if you fielded a marriage proposal after a night like that.  If not, you know where to find me.

The Chocolate Cupcake Taste-off

I have this problem with instant gratification and food.  That is to say, when I get a craving for something, I have to have it immediately.  This often poses a problem because I always seem to be engaged in conversations about food.  Friends are always asking me for recipes or restaurant recommendations, and I do tend to go on about my favorite places to eat in the city.  Sometimes I get a little fixated on one particular thing, and before I know it, I'm already in my car and en route to whichever eatery I'd just rhapsodizing about.  The margherita pizza at Punch, the Spanker Soup at Azia, the Cava Cocktail at Solera, and the triple chocolate layer cake at Trattoria da Vinci are all very recent examples. 

I have a particular weakness for sweets, specifically chocolate.  More specifically, chocolate cake.  My recent entry about Italian desserts, combined with a bit of a broken heart -- a collective "aww" now, please and thank you -- has left me yearning for my favorite treat.  So today I decided to venture out and pick up a decadent dessert for myself.  And what better choice than my favorite of favorites, a chocolate cupcake.  "But from where?" I wondered.  Eureka!  One from everywhere.

Girl Friday Presents: The Chocolate Cupcake Taste-off

I purchased one regular chocolate cupcake with chocolate frosting from 5 neighboring bakeries (plus 1 bonus gourmet chocolate ganache cupcake that looked too good to leave in the bakery case) and tasted them all in my kitchen today.  By eating 1/3 of each cupcake, and cleansing my palate in between with a swig of V8 and then water, I think I was able to effectively judge all of my selections.  Here they are, in the order they were purchased and tasted:

Wuollet Bakery, 2447 Hennepin Ave S

I love the thick, rich frosting; it's like eating a piece of fudge.  Definitely the centerpoint of the cupcake.  The cake itself is semi-moist and has a true chocolate flavor, though it could be stronger.  ($1.15)

Franklin Street Bakery, 1020 Franklin Ave E (Regular Chocolate Cupcake)

The frosting is smooth and glossy, definitely the wettest of them all.  It doesn't have a pure chocolate taste, though.  The cake is moist and dense with a good flavor, but is too salty.  ($1.95)

Franklin Street Bakery (Chocolate Ganache Cupcake)

A "ganache" is a smooth chocolate glaze created by pouring warm heavy cream over chopped chocolate.  FSB has separated the two ingredients and topped this cupcake with a fluffy whipped cream frosting and milk chocolate curls.  Magnificent!  Though the cake is the same recipe used for the regular cupcake above, the saltiness is tempered quite a bit by the creaminess of this frosting.  ($2.25) [EDIT: I finished this cupcake today and discovered a dollop of milk chocolate ganache in the center!]

Cupcake, 3338 University Ave SE

A dark, flavorful frosting with a pure chocolate taste.  The cake is very moist and chocolatey.  This one tastes as every good cupcake should: like a smaller version of a great chocolate layer cake.  I wanted to try their buttermilk chocolate cupcake, too, but the bastard in line ahead of me snatched up the last one.  Either Cupcake has substantially improved the quality of their goods since my last visit, or they have one specialty cupcake and this is it.

Roseville Bakery, 1147 Larpenteur Ave W

Bland frosting and very dry cake.  I question the presence of real chocolate anywhere in this concoction.  I'd rank this cupcake at or below chain grocery store standards.  Sometimes, you get what you pay for.  ($0.65)

Sarah Jane's Bakery, 2853 Johnson St NE

A light and glossy frosting, but not very chocolatey.  The cake itself is semi-moist with an always-present hint of coconut that adds another layer of flavor.  Quite complimentary.  Because Sarah Jane's is so close to my house, I probably eat these cupcakes more often than any others.  Though I mostly just stop in for the awesome bars, I can't help but grab a cupcake or two while I'm there.  (not sure of exact price, but cost of 1 cupcake + 1 brownie = $1.38)

It's a tough choice, but I'd say Cupcake's chocolate cupcake comes out ahead of the rest.  I've given mad props to Wuollet in the past for having an outstanding cupcake, but the one I tasted today was a little drier than usual and the flavor of the cake was too mild.  I plan to return to Franklin Street Bakery to try their other varieties of gourmet cupcakes, as the chocolate ganache one I tasted today was a true gem.  I will likely never return to the Roseville Bakery, however.  And Sarah Jane's Bakery will see me soon enough.  I can already feel a craving coming on for those little spice cakes with maple frosting and the cinnamon-cardamom sweet rolls.

Crazy Delicious

Today's the day I finish my Christmas shopping.  Which I haven't even started, actually, except for the Star Station kids' karaoke machine I bought for my nephew last week.  I plan on MCing a family karaoke contest on Christmas, in which I will smoke the competition and reign supreme with my version of "Hey Ya".  (Yeah, that's on the song list.  Isn't that weird?)

Remember, Personal Touch gift certificates make very thoughtful gifts for loved ones.  I sold one last week to a woman who said she was "unfortunately not quite the old-fashioned wifely type" so she bought $100.00 worth of services for her husband.

I missed this on SNL, but a friend just found it online.  One of the best shorts I've seen in a long time (and featuring the Magnolia Bakery's famous cupcakes):

"Pass the Chronic-WHAT?!-cles of Narnia!"

Jesus, that's funny.  I just watched it three times.

Not Just for Girls Anymore

Ladies, it appears our secret is out.  Men are starting to discover their own brand of joy from cupcakes.

I got the following email this morning from local comedian John Carrier:

The other night at Grumpy's a comedian told a joke about cupcakes I thought you might enjoy (paraphrased):

My favorite dessert is cupcakes... because they are the only kind of dessert
that wears panties.
"So, whatcha got under there? Mmmmm, more cupcake."

***

Should you use it on your site or in casual (or formal) conversation,
please attribute it to comedian Kevin Williams.

Hell to Pay

I know I'm gonna catch hell for another links post, but I've been busy, sick, and with sporadic internet the past week.  At least I still have a bowlful of fun-size Take 5 bars.  Things will be back to normal tomorrow, and I'll write all about my excellent weekend. 

For now:

- The complete Star Trek collection.  Yes, everything.

- A Night at the Roddenberry. (I was laughing so hard I was crying the first time I saw it.)

- Jesus can improve your golf game.

- Write a time capsule email to yourself.  I wrote mine about the guy I'm dating.  He wrote his about the St. Louis Cardinals.

- Double chocolate, self-frosting, Nutella cupcakes.  New baking project!

- There's a nice trailer from Dreaming in America on Lucero's Myspace page.

- Two in-stores coming up at Aardvark Records: Two Cow Garage this Friday the 11th at 6:00pm (playing later at 400 Bar), and HYPSTRZ next Saturday the 19th at 3:00pm (as in the Mighty Mofos, I believe).

The Countdown Begins

Links post!

- I love me some John Ewoldt, but he should maybe leave the restaurant recommendations to Iggers & Co.  Boston Market?  Bryant-Lake Bowl?  Um, no thanks.

- I like this Pi Press interview with Alan Shook, Executive Chef at Big Buck's, because the question about his favorite junk food reminded me of something.  It's long been a wish of mine to ask our top local chefs and restaurant critics about their guilty pleasure restaurants.  Olive Garden?  Taco John's?  I'm also curious about the supplemental income of Twin Cities radio DJs.

- Another cupcake devotee: Chockylit.  Great photos alongside delicious recipes.

- After a dozen ringing endorsements, the last coming from my mother, I finally joined Freecycle.  So far, no need for old washing machines or Similac coupons (thank God), but maybe something will come up.

- MY BIRTHDAY'S IN 19 DAYS, so I've added a couple of things to my Amazon Wish List.  Important note: due to an address change and Amazon's inability to update their information in a timely fashion, I never did receive Because They Wanted To, Cool Hand Luke, or Glamorama.

- I got a very disturbing phone call from a friend tonight.  While dining at Tryg's, he saw at least half a dozen mice run across the floor.  The server explained that they are still having problems with the rodents from leaving the doors open all summer.  Okay, how about close the place for 2 days to exterminate?  That is absolutely horrifying.
 

Scotch Party!

And WHOA.  I really do complain a lot, don't I?  You know what I think it is, I think it's because I eat out more than the average person.  My expecations of food and service are higher because dining out is rarely a destination for me.  You'd think it would be just the opposite.

Andy F**king Rooney over here.

Anyway, there were a few other things I wanted to mention before getting carried away in that last post, so I'll do that now:

- The 5th Annual Minnesota Craft Brewers' Guild Autumn Brew Review (that's a mouthful!) is October 8th.  Tickets are $25.00 in advance from Ticketworks.com.

- Scott McGerik posts about his recent experience at Trevina, which I read, coincidentally, immediately after being dragged by a girlfriend to the attached nightclub, Valentino's.  D-r-a-g-g-e-d.  Like, kicking and screaming to this awful place.  That story has a happy ending, though, which I'll write about at a later date.

- Fellow cupcake lover, Cari, tries out my recipe for Lemon Poppyseed Cookies.  (Okay, so it's Debbie Fields' recipe, not mine.)  In that same post, she mentions the interview with Cupcake Takes the Cake that she hasn't gotten around to yet.  You can read my interview with CTC here.

- From today's inbox: Tasting Notes from The Glenlivet.  You know, it just occured to me what a great idea a scotch tasting party would be.  Whaddya say, Bexley?